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Conan O'Brien
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When Doja Cat joined Bebe Rexha at the AMA's for 'Baby I'm Jealous' I F-ING LOST IT!!! #imnotold

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I'm not worried about a second lockdown, because I already know all the best places in my house to cry.

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Instead of “concede” or “lost,” what if Trump was allowed to say, “My second term has filed for Chapter 11.”

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I feel bad for the kids who aren’t cool enough to get invited to Super Spreader parties.

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Serious question: Can a tree go to rehab? https://t.co/wqm0RhDLyq

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Right now, Trump is fuming that he went with Giuliani over his first choice, Sweet James: https://t.co/hMzbRSc5Kl

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Coronavirus update: don't click on anything titled "Coronavirus update."

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Remember, you need to start quarantining TODAY for Thanksgiving, and then keep quarantining, and then not go.

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In political-medical news: There is an impacted stool in our body politic.

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A new book about Alexander Hamilton claims he wasn’t the talented African-American rapper we all thought he was.

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Instead of "What's new?" I've started asking people "Develop any fun coping mechanisms lately?"

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A new study claims people who don’t exercise are more likely to be depressed, especially if they just lost the Presidential election.

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FLORIDA MAN LOSES ELECTION

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It's getting ugly... Mitch McConnell just demanded to see Joe Biden's birth certificate.

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“Sorry about the other stuff. Did you get the election I sent you? Are we good now?”
-2020

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So NOW Trump wants to quarantine in the White House.

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